Stumbled steps
by Don-V
Summary: Hiroki and Nowaki have issues. They broke up, Now Hiroki is all alone.. Will he find the comfort he needs in the famous Rens arms! Wait Ren is not gay, is he? is Nowaki just gonna leave it at that? Read and find out. beta-ed by: CheyanneChika.
1. Chapter 1

_I allowed myself to have some fun with my tow favorite characters. Since I got horribly bored waiting for Kyoko to return poor Ren's feelings in the canon! XP _

This has been beta read and edited by the great CheyanneChika! This fic won't be any good with out her big help! I'm not exaggerating ! XD

_Enjoy ~_

* * *

_**This story takes place four years after the JR\skip beat! anime and one year ahead of the current JR manga**_

It's been so long. So long since Kamijou Hiroki had seen his lover, Kusama Nowaki.

Now, though, he was heading home at 10:00 P.M from M university and he was excited.

No he was anxious. It felt like forever since they'd sat together, talked to each other and slept together. Nowaki was always busy at the hospital, as was Hiroki with his job, but it was harder due to Nowaki's crazy and often conflicting schedule. It seemed that when Hiroki actually came home, Nowaki would just leave to start his shift and when he finally got back, Hiroki would already be asleep.

He knew this wasn't good for their relationship; they were beginning to act more and more like _roommates _rather than lovers.

_When was the last time I saw that goofy smile plastered on Nowaki's face?_ Hiroki wondered. Not good, he actually couldn't remember. _So does that mean? Is Nowaki...tired of me? is he not happy with me anymore?_

He always was so happy, smiling the all the time, shouting 'Hiro-san' even when he's completely drained of energy. But now... it's not like that anymore.

_Is he going to end it with me?_ Hiroki thought. _No! No nuh-uh... t-that can't happen!_

In his panic, he was practically running towards their home in the heavy snow, he needed to see Nowaki. It was true that he may not have shown any affection towards the man but at least he'd be comforted by seeing him.

Shortly he reached the front door, fished his keys out of his pocket and thrust it in. He panted while taking off his coat. The apartment was lit and the shadow of the raven haired man shortly appeared. "Welcome home, Hiro-san."

"Yeah, I'm home," he replied nonchalantly.

"Hiro-san, we need to talk," Nowaki said while looking at Hiroki with dead serious eyes.

Hiroki gulped. "W-what is it? Nowaki..."

Nowaki sat down on the couch motioning to Hiroki to sit as well...

"I have been thinking, about our... situation." _Oh no, is he going to do it now? Is he going to end it?_

"What do you mean!" _Yes let's play dumb! That'll work!_ Hiroki thought.

"I mean our relationship. We barely see each other, we don't know what's happening in the other's life... Hiro-san I'm tired of this!" He knew they had issues, he knew it wasn't healthy. But for Nowaki to break it to him like that, it was...

"So, what you're saying is... you want to end it?" _Please say no please say no_

"Yes." Hiroki's world came crashing down on hearing those three letters.

"N-Nowaki..." Hiroki couldn't continue, he felt anger and sadness building up inside him as his eyes began to water.

"Nowaki you...wanna break up with me?" he looked directly to Nowaki's eyes.

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki was shocked. "I don't know how you do that! It's not like th—"

Nowaki was cut short by Hiroki's furious shouting, "YOU ASSHOLE! GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN!" Hiroki randomly picked a couple of books and throw them right at Nowaki's face.

"HIRO-SAN! STOP! I'm not going anywhere until we—"

"FINE! You wanna say that this is your fucking house and I'm the one who should leave! You fucking jerk! I'm LEAVING!" Hiroki picked his coat, stomped out quickly and dashed out of the door. Nowaki following him, but as soon as he got out he realized he was barefoot and didn't have his coat, he headed back and grabbed the nearest shoes and a random coat and swung back out.

Only to hit his forehead on the low door frame. "Hiro-san," he called, rubbing his temples to ease the pain and dizziness. Unfortunately, Hiroki had already disappeared.

**XXXXXXXXX**

Hiroki wandered aimlessly. It soon going to be midnight and he didn't know what to do. He thought of going to Akihiko's but the man was on business trip. Fortunately, that was relatively rare, but Hiroki wished his best friend was here to support him this time. Not that he'd ever admit that to anyone.

He just felt so tired after walking for about an hour and half nonstop. He sat on a bench, in a quiet place, in front of an agency. He looked up _LME huh... stupid entertainment business, I guess this is the back door or else all the crazy fans would be screaming and squealing or something. Not that I care, it's nice to have peace and quiet after... uh._ His eyes began to water again and they started to burn. _Stupid, idiotic Nowaki! Screw him! _He began to sob quietly but his sobs steadily got louder and louder.

Then a black haired man exited the building heading towards his car followed by a much shorter and older brunet. "Okay, Yashiro, you really need to stop." The younger man said, glowering at the older man.

"But Ren, that's not what it's about. Can't you see it's a great opportunity?"

"Yeah yeah, okay. I will consider it. Need a ride? "

"No thanks. Today I'll- oh never mind." Ren just raised an eyebrow and waved at his manager. "See you tomorrow."

He resumed walking until a weird whimpering caught his attention. Heading in the direction of the voice, Ren noticed a brunetman clenching his pants. His face was wet and red with puffy red eyes. He heard footsteps and looked up. "Nowa—" he started but ended on a gasp.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

"N-no! I just thought..." He looked down and realized how pathetic he must look and immediately dried his tear-stained face.

Ren smiled gently at him. "You thought I was..." he paused to think, _his boyfriend? Well I'd like to think I'm an open minded man, he did thought—__I __whom obviously a man—was this Nowa guy. But... I think I'll go with safe road._ "…someone you know? "

Hiroki looked up. _Wow a sharp man? That's a change…_

"Yeah my _ex_-lover," he replied bluntly emphasizing the EX part, then paused. "Why in the world did I just tell you that?"

Ren chuckled. "Oh…well, maybe you just need to talk?"

"Ha! What the hell? No! I'm going now, sorry I took your spot or whatever." After saying that, he looked closely to the man in front of him. Realization hit him and he blushed. The man was positively hot.

Ren chuckled again. "I'm not a homeless man who's making this spot his territory."

"Oh yeah, who are you then?" he snapped out to cover his embarrassment. "Why are you in here in front of this agency? I don't see how—oh." Again, realization hit him…right on the head this time.

"I happen to work here; I'm Tsuruga Ren, an actor."

"…" Hiroki had a deep shade of scarlet across his face.

"So, what is your name?"

"Kamijou Hiroki, I'm an assistant professor at Mitsuhashi University," he said efficiently, recovering his usual mentality.

"Oh! Interesting... You must be really smart; actually I have a part now that is similar to your job. "

"D-don't flatter me! Besides I'm sure you'll have no problem with that!"

"I wasn't, and no, I do have a problem..."

Hiroki was taken aback. "Wait, are you that so called Tsuruga who everybody is crazy about and I know about solely because of the stupid, shallow brats I teach?" At Ren's nod, he went on. "Then how can an actor, as famous as you, be unable to perform the SIMPLE ACT OF _PRETENDING_ TO TEACH?" He was yelling again.

It was Ren's turn now to be taken aback. This wasn't something he usually came across since everyone was always sucking up to him. Now, though, this brunet was showing his horrible temper and kind of _insulting_ him. He was almost appreciative. Well, to be fair, it wasn't an actual insult.

"I see, your right. But I've never been to college before. I don't really know how it is."

"Simple. Just imagine it. Watch a movie, read a book!"

"Yes I can do that, but I want to have the real feeling. Can you help me?"

Hiroki raised an eyebrow. "Why should I?"

"Because you can," Ren replied confidently.

"Okay, let's not get carried away here, I can but I _don't _want to."

Ren paused, then said, "You're absolutely right! How impolite of me... So, it's dark and freezing out here how about we go talk somewhere else? I'll treat you for dinner." He looked at his wrist watch. "Er, I guess we still can call it that."

Hiroki opened his mouth to protest, but as if on cue, his stomach growled loudly. He blushed slightly and stood up. Both of them headed to Ren's car.

**XXXXXXXXX**

After finishing their food, the waitress came with the bill. Hiroki quickly reached into his coat pocket and came up empty. "Shit! I must've left it home "home it really felt weird.

"It's okay, Kamijou-kun. I won't have it any other way. As I said before, my treat." He smiled lightly.

"It's not an issue of that! I lost my wallet, all of my money! Where will I go now? I can't go back home."

"Hmm, how about staying with me?"

"Eh?" Hiroki stared at the man in front of him; he was a celebrity. What possibly could go wrong? If anything, Hiroki was the one who should be worried about himself and thinking of all of the available options which were: sleep in the streets or get back to Nowaki. The latter was the most appealing to him. However, did he really want to face Nowaki just yet? "That's awfully kind of you, are you sure?"

"Yes, of course! It'll be fine." He gave Hiroki one of his blindingly bright smiles.

"I guess," Hiroki said, looking away from that shining brightness.

"Come on, then, let's get going."

They walked out feeling blissfully full. "Thank you for coming," said the petite waitress as they went.

* * *

Oookay, I know some ppl would wanna have my head for breaking Hirowaki! But c'mon lets have funnnn...

Oh you may think it's odd that Ren is interested in Hiroki although he is NOT gay, but seriously? He saw him crying! I do believe Hiroki's tears have something magical. I mean think about it...

He was crying when Akihiko kissed him. (They were 10).

He was crying when Nowaki fell in love with him. (In the park).

AND he was crying when Miyagi...err tried to kiss him. (at M uni.).

So I figured, Ren is bound to fall for those tears too!..~


	2. Chapter 2

-This chapter has been beta read and edited by CheyanneChika.

_**This story takes place four years after the JR\skip beat! anime and one year ahead of the current JR manga**_

_This chapter will be told from Hiroki's POV._

_._

_._

I woke up in a different room, _strange_ room. It was obviously a guest room. Its beige walls curved at the top connecting to the molding on the ceiling that was painted in a golden color designed in a fairytalic nuance. This place seemed like the bedroom of a princess. It had a pleasant feeling too. The only flaw now was the white sheets on which I lay which were mussed.

I got up, and started to make the bed. My eyes burning like hell, the events of last night coming at me now. I remembered Nowaki breaking up with me, I'd cried for hours. _I will never forgive that jerk!_ How could he do it so…easily?

_Oh yeah I'm at that big shot's house_; Tsuruga Ren. It was really a nice flat. It was spacious and neat, the accessories designed in classical way but laced with a few modern touches. The house was designed in white to express purity and elegance. In short, it was the kind of place you would expect someone from a high social status to live in…which it was.

I picked up my clothes that I thrown away carelessly last night, and got out of the room. I figured I should make him breakfast since he'd been so good to me last night, it was the least I could do...I guess. I wasn't really a morning person but I couldn't sleep soundly in a different place. So I'd make something since it was too early for my job now. I went to check to see if Tsuruga's shoes were still in the entryway. Stupid, I knew...he probably had a billion pairs of shoes. Whatever, I'd make it anyways.

As I was finishing the omelets, I heard footsteps approaching the kitchen.

"Smells really good in here. I didn't know you had to wake up this early as a professor," Tsuruga said. His black hair was dripping even as he dried it with a white towel, his dress shirt still unbuttoned. He looked so s—_WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?_

"I-I don't. I just couldn't sleep," I said, averting my gaze away from him as he started to button up his shirt. I could only hope he wouldn't notice my flushed face.

"Oh. It's okay, you'll get use to it." He pulled out a chair and sat on the table while I placed his plate and a hot cup of coffee in front of him and sat down myself.

"What do you mean by that? I'm leaving today you know?"

Ren sipped some of his coffee. "Well, why? You can stay here. It's too big for me to live alone."

_Is this guy for real?_ _Really...he just met me yesterday, but he acts like he knows me so very well. And he trusts me. He's a celebrity; what if I had some intentions to get dirt on him or something? He's weird, very weird. But he's also kind. It seems a bit detrimental to him._

I was so deep in thought I didn't notice him finish his food. "Thank you, Kamijou-kun. Food was delicious." He stood up and grabbed his plate and mug. "And, if you like, I'll send some of the staff at the agency to help you move," he said smiling. How could he smile so brightly this early in the morning?

"No, it's fine. And what do you mean by staff from _your agency_?"

"There's a section called (Love me) and the people there are ready to do anything to get points. It's something the head of the agency created to motiva- … Kamijou-kun?" He looked at me and I swore I could see his lips curved in a small smile…or was that a smirk? I didn't care though because I was busy laughing my ass off. What the hell, who would call a section by that ridiculous name? I laughed so hard. It had been awhile since I'd laughed like that. He handed me a tissue. As I wiped off my tears, he began to speak again. "Regardless of the name, it works and it's beneficial for both parties. Anyway, I'll give them your phone number and they'll meet you there," he said. _He really is persistent. And he is offering, I might as well accept._

"Okay, but I can't give you my number. There's no point, it's off. I'll get a new one today," I said.

"That's fine. So I'll just come and pick you up at lunch break." _Seriously…is this guy for real? _

"Don't be stupid! I can't have you on the campus where the brats will crawl over you. Besides, it's my house so what the hell will I need you to escort me for?" I asked. I looked at his face. He was frowning like he was thinking about something so serious.

I briefly wondered if he was ignoring me but he finally spoke. "So, Kamijou-kun, I think the campus is empty at night?" he questioned. More like stated.

"Yeah, why?" I shot back. He smirked. I looked at my wrist watch. Shit, I was going to be late. "I have to go now, bye," I said while I grabbed my coat and dashed out of the flat. I had to go earlier so that I could drop by the phone company to get a new number. I didn't want anything to do with that brat—Nowaki—starting from today.

My first two classes went smoothly, if you put aside the texting brats and the sleeping ones. They should have gotten used to it by now, but they were too stupid to know what's best for them...they didn't understand the importance of literature.

"Kyouju, I'm leaving now. You can handle the afternoon classes, right?" I asked Miyagi as I walked into our small, crowded office.

He gasped and grabbed my shoulders, "Kamijou! That's so unfair! You can't leave me all by myself."

I sighed. I knew he would react like that. I did consider going to get my things at night, but I remembered Nowaki had the early shift today. I really didn't want to face him. "Miyagi-Kyouju, I will be back in a couple of hours. Besides, it's only one lecture." I shoved his hands away from me and grabbed my bag.

As I was walking down the hallway, I spotted a couple of young people wearing a hot-pink get up. They looked absolutely ridiculous! They were talking to some student as she pointed at...ME!

I stood in pure shock as the two of them walked right to me. "Good afternoon. You must be Kamijou-san!" exclaimed a girly looking boy. Well, no one could look manly in that get-up! "We came to help you. Are you ready to leave?" asked the girl that stood beside him. She approached me and grabbed my arm. "We are here to love you!" she said excitedly. Oh...those are the Love Me brats! I looked up to see a thoroughly stunned Miyagi gazing at us he was heading to his lecture hall. Meanwhile, a bunch of students were pointing and giggling. Never in my professional life had I ever imagined I would be so humiliated!

XXXXXXX

We—me and the love me brats—arrived at my old apartment at noon. I went to talk to the landlord along with the girl, I thought her name was Riko. Not that I cared, though, the landlord gave me a suspicious look but she opened the door for us nonetheless. As we entered the boy, Shinta, was giving a moving company the address of the apartment.

"No need for that, we're just gonna grab a few necessary things," I said to him waving my hand as I looked at the book shelves trying to limit the amount I would take.

"I'm afraid we can't! We must take everything," the boy said, standing stiffly as he clutched his fists. What was so serious about this anyway? "Says who? I haven't settled down yet. So, I don't need to take things I won't be able to keep," I said calmly, trying my best not to explode at the brat.

"NO! We absolutely can't. W-we need to do that. Besides! I know you have a home now. Because Tsuruga-san threa- I mean asked us to move everything to his place!" The book was right in my hand, the anger was building up...but the victim he wanted was not in here. _WHO does he think he is? I'm about ten years older than him and he thinks he can rule my life? What's with me and these stupid brats anyway?_

The brats took all my stuff. I knew I couldn't protest. It really was for my own good...at least now I wouldn't have any reason to face Nowaki. I headed back to the university, knowing the love me brats will take care of everything. Luxury was rather blissful.

XXXXXX

This day could not get any longer. But I was finally done with my work. Of course, it was after nine so... I grimaced, stupid Miyagi kept me working my ass off as a payment for taking off this afternoon. As I was exiting the building, a familiar car pulling over caught my attention. "What the hell are you doing here?" I growled at Ren as he got out of his car.

"Oh! What a great coincident." He smiled brightly as he went on. "I told you there's no one here at night, so let's get to business, shall we?"

"Is this a joke? What is wrong with you? First, you had those brats stealing all my things. And now you want to do _business?_" I asked tightly. I really wanted to yell, but I didn't have it in me; I was too exhausted.

"They just moved your things. Don't accuse people of such a thing," he chastised. "Besides, I came here to practice my role."

I took a deep breath getting ready to snap at him. Then I remembered; this guy had done so much for me in the twenty-four hour period without even knowing me. I owed him. "Okay! Fine...follow me. But I'll let you know now that I won't go easy on you!"

Ren gave me his shiny smile. I looked away immediately and we headed to a dark lecture hall. I flicked the lights on, snapped my bag open and took a bunch of papers and gave them to Ren as I stood behind the lecturer's desk. After Ren dragged a chair over and sat in front of me, I began a short, simple lecture. I was surprised that he actually took it very seriously and he seemed more attentive than most of my students but…it was not necessarily flattering.

When I finished, Ren said, "Thank you, Kamijou-kun. I think I can do a much better job now getting to the character now and there's only one guy that will be in my head at the time." His smile sparkled.

I looked away and stalked over to light panel flicked the lights off immediately. I didn't want him to see my face now. _What is this guy thinking?_ "D-Don't say such things! If you _think _then it means you're not confident enough! B-besides, you must not let anyone in your head or you'll get distracted." I huffed as I walked out of the room with Ren following. He was quiet now, thankfully.

We went out to his car but a tall figure caught my attention. It was Nowaki, sitting on a bench next to the entrance. _Please don't let him notice us_. I walked hurriedly to the car and opened the passenger door.

"What's the rush for, Kamijou-kun?" This idiot Ren had chosen this time to speak!

"N-nothing! I'm just tired, I wanna get home faster. Come on!" I said from inside the car. He half circled the car and opened his own door and…oh no...Nowaki was running towards us.

"HIRO-SAN!" Nowaki shouted.

I tried to act nonchalant in front of Ren. "Why is that guy screaming?" he asked while starting the engine. "Do you know him?" I shook my head, but he kept going. "Strange, he's running to over...maybe he needs something." He moved his body to get out of the car. I quickly grabbed his arm.

"Don't" I said in the calmest voice I could muster in that moment. His eyes went soft and he seemed to understand. "It's okay, I get it. Let's—" He was cut off by the rough knocking on the window.

"HIRO-SAN! TALK TO ME PLEASE! WE NEED TO WORK THINGS OUT, I WON'T ACCEPT THIS PLEASE!" Nowaki yelled, still gunning for the car.

I needed to put an end to this toxic relationship. It was so confusing. _He wanted to break up, so what does he mean work things out? There's nothing to work out_. I pulled down the window, "Hiro-san," Nowaki said, his voice softer.

Without looking at him, I said, "Nowaki listen. You ended it and I'm over you, so let's just leave it at that."

Nowaki was, yet again, furious. Yes, it was rare, but he was. "Hiro-san, what do you mean your over me? Are you going out with_ this_ guy?"

"There's no reason for you to ask. I can do whatever I—" Shit I couldn't say it...I needed to pull it together. I had to! Tears would not fall this time. No no no... _If I show any weakness now I'll— _

"Yes, we are going out. And we don't need you to bother us anymore. Goodbye," Ren said as he pulled the window back up and drove out of the campus.

I didn't know what to think. I was grateful, because now I wouldn't cry in front of Nowaki, but what was with Tsuruga's saying that we were going out? He didn't know a thing about me! Why would he...I realized I was glaring at him now that we were pulling into his apartment lot and he was looking back at me sheepishly as he pulled over in front of the building that held his—our—home. "Listen, Kamijou-kun, I'm sorry. I...really thought the situation was getting…"

I motioned to him to be quiet. "It's fine, it's not like it's the first time this has happened to me." I muttered the last part. I didn't think he'd heard, though. "I mean...he doesn't have anything to do with me anymore, so...I think it's not important for him to know... If I'm seeing someone else."

As I was saying those words, I felt a deep pain in my heart; like there was something very sharp cutting through me. "S-so," I laughed nervously, "let's just go and I'll sleep it off!" All I received as a reply was a small nod.

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Don't forget to Review.. Onegaishimasu.


	3. Chapter 3

-This chapter has been beta read and edited by CheyanneChika.

_**This story takes place four years after the JR\skip beat! anime and one year ahead of the current JR manga**_

* * *

Restless. The word that perfectly described Kamijou Hiroki's sleep this night was restless. Uncomfortable would have worked as well. Both of these were due to the unnerving thoughts that haunted his mind and dreams revolved on one certain event: Nowaki breaking up with him.

Curled up in the white fluffy bed, shivering, not from the cold but from the uneasiness that washed over his whole being, his eyes wandered the room and he thought about the last time he had seen the man.

_Why…why was he like that? M-maybe, I got it all wrong... Maybe I just misunderstood something... _

_NO NO, how pathetically desperate can I be! That's impossible, how could something like that happen in the first place? Okay, okay let's think back to the day before. I walked in, he said we need to talk... I guess he might wanted to talk about finding a solution or-or something like that! _

"_Heh, How stupid..." _

"_WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" _

"_I know a lot. For instance, I know when you were ten you had that weird habit of-"_

"_OKAY! You made your point."_

"_Anyway, are you really going to believe that bull?"_

"_It's not that! I guess...that's how he might act... I mean, how sudden was that break up!"_

"_No, you think it's true 'cause you're desperate, what do you need that stupid giant for...? You're smart, you're handsome, you're successful. You don't need anyone..." _

"_Y-you're stupid! I know I don't need anyone!" _

Hiroki huffed and got up from his bed as the sunlight seep through the white creamy curtains. He stared at the newly installed book shelves. That man really had a weird way of saying '_you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like to...' _Hiroki headed to the living room and made himself comfortable on the beige sofa while he began reading peacefully.

"You're up early today too, still not familiar with the room, huh?" Ren asked as he shot a bright smile towards the brunet while he walked in the living room.

"Mmhmm," Hiroki replied, noncommittally.

"It's your day off today, right?" Ren was now sitting across the busily reading man.

"Uh-huh."

"So, do you have any plans?"

"Not that I know of."

"Good..." he shifted in his chair into a more relaxed pose. "Come to the set then. I'm going to perform the role you helped me with and you know there's lots of—"

"I really don't think I want to be surrounded by so many shal-" Hiroki stopped himself before saying something he'll regret.

"It's a really good idea to change the atmospheres once in awhile... Besides, there will be plenty of free food." He smiled again, his eyes closing in a soothing gesture.

"Erm, you are trying to tempt me with...food?"

"Of course," the raven haired man said, still wearing that same smile on his features.

XXXXXX

"_You know, no one can resist, especially since this will get my mind off of my personal drama. So, Stop. Giving. Me. Hell. About it!"_

"_Hmph. Fine, I don't care... You'll be just like a wooden doll in those man's hands."_

"_SHUT UP! I would shove this bread stick in your face if you weren't in my head!" _

"_Whatever..." _

On the outside however, Hiroki was looking rather bored, and stressful. Standing next to the food stand, while chewing on a piece of bread like it was made of rubber. As a brunet approached him.

"Hello there, I'm Yashiro Yukihito, Ren's manager." He held his hand, and shook Hiroki's

"Oh, uh, I see, I'm Kamijou Hiroki." The two brunets stared at each other for a moment, then Yashiro began to speak.

"So, how do you know Ren?"

"It's complicated really, I don't exactly _know_ him."

Yashiro stared him down, sighed and said, "Look, I know that Ren is a very good guy." Hiroki nodded in agreement. "I know it's not my business to be telling you this, but he just got out of a relationship and...let's just say he's not handling it very well." Yashiro looked at the actors performing. He took a long breath, "I'm saying that...he might act like he..."

"Stop. Stop right there. What you're saying is that I should not extend my welcome or whatever and I shouldn't take him up on anything he says?" He checked his phone briefly; sadly there was no reply from Akihiko. He'd texted him before telling him that he needed a favor though it looked like the author was too busy to even check his own cell. He sighed. "I know... I will disappear in a couple of days." He looked down at his feet, then at the actors. Yashiro on the other hand, was stunned. He thought this guy was taking advantage of the actor. Ren wasn't that stupid though, but he doubted his decisions at the time. Now he realized how mature and collected this Kamijou was. "I'm sorry. I...have no right to ask you that but—"

"I already said I understand so it's okay. I, myself, know this isn't right. It was nice talking to you." Hiroki waved at him carelessly and left the set.

XXXXX

_So much to get my mind off my personal drama_, Hiroki wandered around the darkening streets aimlessly until he found himself in front of the Mitsuhashi University. _I want to drown myself in work, forget everything. But...I won't be at ease…maybe no—_ A familiar voice cut his thoughts as he walked into his office.

"AH! Kamijou! You're not supposed to be here! Did you miss me this much~?"

"K-Kyouju..." Hiroki's eyebrows twitched in anger. "What are_ you_ doing here!"

"Hmmm," Miyagi held his chin, then shrugged. "I felt a sudden urge to work!"

"I wish I could believe that..." Hiroki sighed, then went ice cold. _Crap! I forgot this is the only place Nowaki knows where he can find me! _"K-Kyouju! It was nice seeing you, I have to go now! Goodbye!" He turned to make a run but, unfortunately, Miyagi was faster and grabbed his arm.

"How horrible! You're just gonna leave me here!"

"Yeah, just go home. Now let go of me please!" Nerves were beginning to eat Hiroki alive.

Miyagi sighed, checked his phone and frowned. "If you insist on leaving, then how about we go for drinks...hmm?"

"S-sure! Let's just get out of here." Miyagi smirked as they went out.

_Four hours later_...

"KYOUJU! We are leaving right now!"

"Hirooo-chin! Whyyyyy do you always, always, allllllways ruin all the fun?" Miyagi whimpered, "Jus one more d-drink..." He waved vaguely at the bartender.

"You said that an hour ago! Please, let's just leave RIGHT NOW!" Hiroki's frown deepened, if it was even possible.

"Iss not good to nag y'r boss...nooooot when he has his owwwn nagger just waiting for him at home..." He waved his glass in the air. "Is not like I don't love'em like I do~"

"Y-yeah sure, uh, careful with that!"

XXXX

Walking was never easy with a drunkard, Hiroki realized as a taxi stopped as he delivered his co-worker to his home. As he stood in front of Miyagi's apartment's door, it was conveniently opened by a pissed off looking teenager who kept on glaring at him. The moment Miyagi fell on the floor inside his home, the door slammed shut in Hiroki's face. _What the? Not even a thank you or offering to stay the night! What's wrong with kids nowadays! They've got no manners what so ever, damn brats._

XXXX

Hiroki exhaled heavily once he finally stepped inside his new home. He expected it to be dark and deserted however, it was the exact opposite. The room was brightly lit and Ren's long legs lay on the floor as his back was supported by the cream colored couch. His eyelids were drooping and he was holding a glass half filled with ice and liquor. Two empty bottles of sake and another of something that looked imported were on the coffee table beside him.

_Great! Now I'll take care of him too_, Hiroki thought walking in. "I'm back."

Ren's eyes popped open. "You are!" he cried, trying to stand up, only to fall on the couch.

"Yeah..? Come on, I'll help you get to your room," Hiroki grunted. As he leaned over Ren to help him up, he grabbed Hiroki's arm and pulled him to his chest.

"I...was so afraid. I thought you left after what Yashiro told you."

Hiroki was shocked at the sudden embrace but he recovered and managed to break free a bit from Ren's strong arms. "Tsuruga-san, please let go."

"No." Ren rolled onto the other man, forcing Hiroki's back against the couch while he hovered over him and pinned his wrists firmly. "Do you know how horrible I felt? It was—"

"Tsuruga-san! What's wrong with you, get a grip!" Hiroki snarled, wiggling under him. Of course, Ren only held him tighter. _It must be adrenalin running him now! He couldn't even stand on his own two feet a moment ago!_

"I thought you left for good without knowing how I felt about you!" he said looking straight to Hiroki's eyes while they burned with sadness. "I thought I'd made the same mistake twice... I—" his gaze fell down Hiroki's body. "I never want to lose something I care about ever again."

Hiroki laughed nervously. "What are you saying? I—" Hiroki was cut off guard when Ren's lips smashed into his own. He stared, wide eyed, as all the words he'd ever known escaped his brain.

"That's what I'm saying. Hiroki, I love you," he said seriously.

_You've got to be kidding me!_ "Ren, you're drunk. You probably have no clue what you've just done and said. Probably gonna freak out of your bones if you do ever remember," Hiroki muttered the last part, looking away.

Ren squeezed Hiroki's wrists, making him look at him again. His face had no hint of clueless drunkenness. Realizing that, Hiroki knew this was not just the liquor talking. "Ren, I know...how hard it is to break up with someone you still have feelings for. B-but...you don't just direct those feelings to anyone who'd get close to you, let alone a man!" Hiroki knew he must sound like a jerk but he wanted to say something nicer, comfort him at least. He could only think of one person who was capable of doing that and he cursed his idiotic train of thoughts.

"Don't be such a hypocrite." His tone lightened up.

"What—?"

"You were dating that guy from yesterday, weren't you?" he said sarcastically, making it not a question.

Hiroki's face went beet red. "I-I was," he muttered.

Ren chuckled. "You look cute like that, have anyone ever told you?"

"No, well...yeah." Hiroki felt a sharp pain linger in his chest.

"I see..." Ren lifted himself off Hiroki, releasing his wrists before rolling over and sitting normally on the couch. "I know." He looked teasingly at Hiroki, who looked puzzled.

"You know what?"

"Even if you act like this, I know you're still not over him." He smiled weakly, looking ahead, while his hands tucked behind his head, supporting it. "After all, we're both suffering from the same pain." He sighed heavily, standing up. "I'm sorry. It's unlike me to do something so shameful. Now, if you'll excuse me?" He got to his feet. "You should fix it before it's too late," he said, disappearing in the hallway.

Hiroki got to his feet walking towards the front door, fighting the urge to run. Yet, he stopped suddenly; his pride was stronger than this.

* * *

REVIEWS XD


	4. Chapter 4

This is the last chapter .. yay! I'm really sorry for taking so long to post it.

I'd like to thank my amazing beta reader **CheyanneChika****, **she's been a great help to me through all this –not so long fic- but still, and thank all of you who reviewed, added this story to their favorites and to those who read in silence :P

THANK YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY. And don't forget to leave a review

_**This story takes place four years after the JR\skip beat! anime and one year ahead of the current JR manga**_

"Kamijou...how long are you going to hide it from me?" Miyagi asked, in a concern tone.

"Hide what, I seriously have no time for chit-chat Kyouju." Hiroki muttered, his face buried in a pile of papers. Their small office was too occupied with all the papers, books and the two hard working professors. Finals were a hectic time for them, not even noticing how the time slips away...as it was nearing midnight.

"You won't fool me, you've not been your usual self those past couple of weeks," Miyagi reasoned, exhaling a tiny cloud of smoke.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Kyouju. Would you mind getting back to _actually_ grading some papers and leaving me alone, please?" The assistant professor asked stiffly, still in the same position he had maintained for the past three hours or so.

Miyagi sighed heavily and crushed his cigarette in the ashtray. He walked a few short steps reaching for the smaller man and, before Hiroki knew what was happening, he was facing Miyagi whilst the latter grabbed his shoulders firmly, leaning his head down to be on eye level with the other.

"I'm seriously concerned here! Can't you see that?" he cried, looking deep into the smaller man's eyes.

"I-I'm, I'm sorry..." Hiroki looked shocked, feeling somewhat guilty.

Miyagi sighed again, "I know something is wrong with you, you look dead for crying out loud! And there was really some odd stuff happening around you..." he might have been referring to the 'love me' brats, though he didn't let that spill so easily, as he was making a tremendous amount of jokes and teasing him about it, much to Hiroki's dismay.

"Ah, yeah... I really am... must be from all this hard work, my back is really stiff now... I barely can move!" he laughed nervously, trying to brush the matter off with those half formed sentences.

"This is a dead end," Miyagi mumbled. "You should get some rest then. Let's finish this tomorrow." He pushed Hiroki out of the office before the man could say anything more or even try to get some papers to work on at home.

XXX

Hiroki hid underneath the thick white covers of his bed, the night was cold...for his body and soul. His heart felt so empty...like there was something missing. No, _he_ was missing. The person he used to be was no longer there. He glanced to the digital clock, 2:17AM it read. He throw his head back against the pillows with a light _thud_. This was the first night in two weeks that he actually didn't drown himself with work until he couldn't see anymore and crash in his room to immediately fall asleep.

His days were the same, as if he was living the same day over and over again. Waking up, going to work, getting back home late, _very late,_ at night and sleep the day off, only to rewind it all over again. He sometimes forgot that he was not living alone. He was living with a famous person and as for that...he rarely saw him.

Of course, he was avoiding him a little. That awkward silence between them the day after Tsuruga Ren's confession was an unforgivable moment in his life. He felt bad for him, and for imposing on his kindness, he really did. And besides, he wanted to have his own place. He even went apartment-hunting. Then Ren found out.

He wasn't pleased, and insisted yet again that Hiroki must stay with him for as long as possible. Because at least, he wouldn't come back home to an empty apartment. So, with that Ren made it look like a selfish request rather than a generous offer.

Hiroki refused at first, but then agreed reluctantly. Something inside of him was surely positive this situation was only temporary. And if he ever settled in a place of his own, everything would end. Everything. _I can't take this... I can't take it anymore... _

XXX

Yawning, Hiroki lazily opened his eyes, glancing back at the clock, it was 8:35AM. He got up and got ready for work. Walking to the kitchen, he poured himself a cup of coffee. Lifting his head up, he was shocked to see Ren standing in the living room, wearing his pajamas, and rubbing his messed up hair. "Eh? Aren't you supposed to be working?" Hiroki asked, blinking at the tall man.

"Uhm," he cleared his throat, "no, I'm-" he started coughing. His voice sounded too hoarse.

"Oh god, you're sick!" Hiroki placed his cup on the counter and rushed to the man, helping him to the couch. "That's what happens when you don't take care of yourself!" he chastised. Then he sighed, seeing the pathetic look Ren was giving him, it almost remind him of his lover. Those sad eyes and messy black hair, it all was too much. Even though he rarely showed any kindness to his former lover, he felt the urge to check on him, and look after him now and see if he ever needs anything. What if he got sick, who'd be there for him? But he can't do any of that, not just because of his damn pride or his fierce personality. The man already has someone else.

Hiroki shock his thoughts away, "I'll make you some tea, and something to eat, that will warm you up. Alright?"

Ren shook his head lightly, "No, you'll be late for work. I can take care of myself."

"Don't be an idiot! I would not offer if I was going to be late! Seriously, kids these days." He sighed, stomping back to the kitchen.

XXX

About five hours later; Hiroki was making lunch, nothing fancy, although, he'd have to admit his cooking skills improved a lot. He was confident his soup would at least be appealing to a sick guy. Sitting on the other side of the couch beside Ren, Hiroki, too, ate in silence. It seemed all the awkwardness had faded away after awhile as they slowly started chatting about their jobs and such, that is until... "I don't mean to intrude, but...w-why did you break up with your ex—" Hiroki cut himself, why was he asking about that! Did he want to be comforted by hearing the other's issues?

"It's fine... ehm," he coughed lightly, "you can ask all you want. That is my obligation to you, after what I did." He placed his empty bowl on the coffee table mumbling his thanks and resumed, "Well, it's just that I didn't feel like she was...devoted to me." His eyes never left the plate, a hint of sorrow in his voice. "I felt like she never loved me as much as I loved her...like she was too afraid of giving her heart to me fully. And I couldn't take it... I—" he coughed again, "I know it's selfish, and I regret it." His gaze left the plate and went to Hiroki's chestnut eyes. "She was the best thing that happened to me...and I...it might be true, what you said to me that night. I can't suppress the feelings I have within me, and for that, I can't think straight, I'm sorry." He smiled weakly, his eyes full of sadness. "It's too late for me now. She's already over me. That's why I told you. You have to fix it before it's too late."

"Fix what?" Hiroki asked evasively, that damned pain in his chest, the pain that seemed to be inseparable from his body these last few weeks, reached its limit. He was feeling like his heart is going to break in teeny, tiny pieces.

"Go, fix it...just go and don't let anything stop you." Hiroki only nodded, and got to his feet. It would only take minutes to reach his apartment and see that beloved face, hear that oh so wonderful voice and, if it all didn't go well, he, at least, would have his closure and it would all come to an end. But that has to wait, he has to go to his job first.

After what felt like ages, Hiroki finally was at the doorstep of the apartment he used to share with Nowaki, panting. He held the key in his shaking hand. He hesitated at first, but forced himself to get in remembering Ren's words. The apartment was too quite, too dark, and only a dim light was peeking from the bedroom. Hiroki walked in, not knowing what to do or where to go. Was Nowaki even here? What is he going to say to him? And all of sudden, an all too familiar voice cut his thoughts.

"Okaeri, Hiro-san." Nowaki's voice was different, cold..._too_ cold.

"N-Nowaki...!" Hiroki spun to face him, he looked exhausted, though Hiroki couldn't tell exactly in the dim light.

"Surprised to see me? Oh, sorry I'm here, that I wasn't out so you could get whatever you came for and run off _again_!" He spoke sarcastically, obviously furious. Hiroki only blinked in shock and horror. Never in his life had he seen Nowaki this angry at _him_.

"Nowaki…NO! I- that's not why I—" he was cut off, ending his sentence with a yelp, as Nowaki pushed him on the couch, topping him.

"Why did you leave me!" His voice was so demanding; Hiroki couldn't keep anything hidden from him, not him.

"I-I- Nowaki I'm I-" his voice cracked, his eyes watery, "I thought you were d-done with m-me... you-uh" his sentence turned into strangled sobs, his tears trailed down his cheeks freely.

"Hiro-san...I'm angry, disappointed and hurt. I can't believe you thought so lowly of me. You doubted me, my love to you. You doubted us!" Nowaki shook Hiroki's shoulders with every word. His sobs got louder.

"Hiro-san...I've told you this a lot and I will tell you again and again, until you believe me. There's no one in this world that I will love, or even look at the same way I do to you. Hiro-san, there is no one I would love so deeply, no one that will have me head over heels for the slightest actions, there's absolutely no one I would rather spend my life with other than you. You have to understand that, Hiro-san...please. Don't be insecure about yourself...it's you, every aspect of you, that I'm madly in love with. Don't ever forget that. My whole existence is flawed without you by my side. You have no idea how I felt those past weeks. Please Hiro-san, don't ever do that to me again, I can't take it. I love you, I love you, I love you so much it hurts," he ended, whispering into Hiroki's ear.

"N-Nowaki... I'm-I- really, I-I'm sorry, I—" his voice cracked even more, not allowing him to finish.

"Hiro-san, promise me you'll never ever again jump to conclusions by yourself, please talk to me first," he said gently. Forgiving his Hiro-san without any good-enough excuses. He knew how insecure Hiroki was, and made a promise to himself to try and prove Hiro-san wrong and convince him of his true worth.

Hiroki blushed madly and he was thankful the room was dark. Nowaki leaned closer, brushing his lips ever so gently over his lover's. Hiroki couldn't take it, he'd been craving this for so long, craving Nowaki's presence, Nowaki's touch, Nowaki's warmth… He wrapped his hands around the taller man's neck, pulling him closer. Nowaki refused to part his lips and Hiroki groaned softly licking Nowaki's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Nowaki chuckled softly and Hiroki didn't hesitate. Shoving his tongue in his lover's mouth, kissing feverishly, he moaned and gripped the soft silky black locks of his lover's hair as Nowaki's hand explored his body going up and down his torso and lifting his shirt up, whilst the other cupped his groin.

They broke apart moments later gasping for air, a thin string of saliva connecting them. Nowaki gazed down at Hiroki lovingly, smiling and panting. Hiroki looked deeply flushed, refusing to look up even though he wasn't be able to see Nowaki's face in the pale light.

"I'm so happy, Hiro-san. I'm so happy I could die..." Nowaki murmured huskily, sighing in content, and papering his lover's face with light kisses. "Hiro-san... Hiro-san..."

"Nh, Nowaki..." Hiroki tried pushing Nowaki off of him, failing and managing only to squirm under the tall figure like a fish.

"St-stop! Nowaki!"

"Hiro-san, it's not true, right? It's not true that you were seeing that guy, is it?"

"N—wha—NO! Did you really believe that?" Hiroki's eyes were wide in surprise.

"What would you expect me to think...? You blurted out some unreasonably absurd stuff and then you—no, he—claimed to be your lover. I never thought you were cheating on me... But when you ran off so suddenly, I thought you might have." He sighed and shook his head, "I don't want to be in that situation ever again, it's unbearable. Hiro-san, you are my everything. I'm sorry I doubted you too. Please forgive me."

"Y-yeah, it's fine. I-I guess we're even. I'm s-s-sorry too, Nowak—" he was cut off as Nowaki's lips came crashing on his, sucking the air out of his lungs.

"Mm, Hiro-san...I missed...you..." Nowaki said between kisses.

"Mmhmm," Hiroki's heart fluttered with joy; he was totally overwhelmed. Now, at last, the anxiety had washed off his heart... and he was in the arms of the one person he truly loved with everything he had. He couldn't suppress his tears, as they trailed, once again, down his flushed cheeks. Nowaki felt the damp heat of tears on his own face and frowned. They weren't his. "Don't cry, Hiro-san, I'm here now, all is forgiven."

Hiroki nodded, then shook his head as if fighting with himself. "I-I missed you, s-so much. Nowaki I-I—dammit!"

Nowaki gently brushed his index finger across Hiroki's lips. "Shh, you don't have to say anything more, Hiro-san, I understand." Even in the dim light, Hiroki felt Nowaki's warm smile. "Can I kiss you now?" he leaned closer, aiming for Hiroki's soft lips.

"No! Wait!" He changed his position into a sitting one, forcing Nowaki to do so as well. "I have to tell you this! This is the reason why this whole thing happened in the first place! We. Have. To. Listen to each other, dammit! There's more to 'us' than just the physical!" He panted wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"Y-yes, I understand, sorry Hiro-san. I-I didn't mean to ignore you. I missed you so much and I want to have all of you right now! I'm sorry but I can't hold back right now..." Hiroki gasped as Nowaki pushed him back onto his back and kissing feverishly. This ticked off Hiroki to no end.

"Nowaki!" he snapped, pushing him back once more. "Did you hear a word I said, please I-I don't want to get into that situation again either and I don't want to have any more misunderstandings, I want you to know that no matter what happens in the future, I'll be here for you. I promise I'll listen to your every word and th-that I'll love you forever..." Hiroki shut his eyes counting in his head. O_ne, two... three... f-four... What the hell you doing, idiot? Kiss me already!_ And to his surprise the weight over his chest disappeared. Opening his eyes he heard hurried footsteps and a knock on something as Nowaki groaned in pain, then the room was lit with so much light that Hiroki had to cover his eyes. "Why did you—" his eyes went wide seeing Nowaki's flushed face.

"H-Hiro-san I had to see your face. I'm—oh my god, how did I become so lucky to have you..." Nowaki came back and was standing in front of Hiroki, caressing his red-as-a-cherry cheeks. The intense gaze of those blue eyes flickered all over Hiroki's face, the latter refusing to meet his eyes. "Hiro-san, look at me..."

"..." No response, though Hiroki's face seemed to redden even more, if it was humanly possible.

"Please,"

"No."

Nowaki chuckled, "You were the one who suggested we talk right? So why are you not responding?"

"It's because... You idiot! Don't you know how to talk in a normal way? You always have to say way too many embarrassing things! As if you're actions alone weren't bad enough!" Hiroki glared at the younger man.

"See, it's not so bad to look at me." He smiled innocently at the blushing head to toe Hiroki.

"IDIOT!"

"I'll be anything for my Hiro-san. Do you have anything more to say?"

"No, I have nothing to say to an idiot like you..." He sighed, flopping back onto the couch cushions "You neve—" He yelped as the strong hands of his lover wrapped around him as Nowaki practically fell on top of him.

"Good, because I can't hold back much longer," Nowaki said with a goofy smile, holding his temporarily unwilling lover in his arms even as he squirmed.

The End!


End file.
